CHILD ABUSE

Violence Impacts Children and Families

Violence can negatively impact young children in more ways than adults might think.  It is important for parents and caregivers to pay close attention to children who may have been exposed to violence.  Sometimes very subtle forms of violence can have a lasting impact on children including changes in their behavior.  This information will help parents and caregivers become more aware of the signs of exposure to violence in a child and help them learn where to get assistance.  The following story illustrates how violence can affect children's behavior.

Kenny is a three and a half year old boy who lives with his mother and father.  One night when Kenny was trying to sleep, he heard his parents arguing loudly.  He heard a loud bang, and then his mother screamed.  The next morning, after a restless night of sleep filled with bad dreams, Kenny awoke to see his mother with bruises on her body.  Stiffened by fear, he said nothing.  Kenny continues to struggle with sleep problems, and he complains of nightmares and stomach aches.  He has also begun to have toileting accidents, through he had been successfully toiled trained for eight months.

Children's Exposure to Violence
Children may come into contact with violence in many ways -- both directly and indirectly. Child abuse and neglect, for example are violent behaviors directed at children. These behaviors include physical, sexual and emotional abuse of children such as physical injury, sexual assault, and constant criticism or withholding of love. Acts of violence against children may be committed by parents, caregivers, relatives, older children, schoolmates, and others in the community.
A child may also see, hear, or sense violence directed at others such as noticing bruises on a caregiver's face, hearing mom and dad fighting, or seeing another child being bullied at school. These acts can occur in the home, school, community, and/or in the media. Although children may not be the targets of such actions, exposure to these kinds of violent events may have negative effects on their emotional growth and/or behavior -- similar to being abused directly. It is very important that parents and/or caregivers not minimize the harm that such exposure has on a child.

Signs a child May Have Been Exposed to Violence
No matter how children become exposed to violence, such experiences can be devastating and difficult for them to deal with on their own. Sometimes children who have seen, heard, or experienced violence show signs of being "S.C.A.R.E.D..." If your child exhibits any of the following signs, it may be an indication that he/she has been exposed to violence:

Sudden changes in sleep habits (bedwetting, nightmares, will not sleep alone, etc.).

Crying or whining frequently, clingy behavior, inability to concentrate

Afraid of things he/she has never feared before.

Refuses activities once enjoyed (such as playing with friends, participating in sports, etc.).

Easily startled.

Displays disruptive, violent, bullying or aggressive behavior (angry outbursts).

If you suspect that your child have been exposed to violence, he or she may need help from a professional. Please contact Safe from the Start for more information

Violence Exposure:  -- Parents and Caregivers

Just as you should watch for sign of violence expose in your child, you also need to think about taking care of yourself.  Your own exposure to violence may have a negative impact on you AND your child.

Parents and caregivers are also exposed to violence from many sources:  personal relationships, the community, and the media.  Some parents and caregivers experience domestic violence or intimate partner violence.  This type of abuse happens between people who know each other and may occur between spouses, boyfriends and girlfriends, partners, etc.

Any of the following behaviors may be considered domestic violence or abuse:

• Beating, kicking, or slapping a partner

• Using name calling , insults, or constant criticism against a partner

• Acting jealous, possessive, or refusing to trust a partner

• Trying to isolate a partner from family, friends, or work

• Threatening to harm a partner, and/or a partner's children, family, friends, or pets

• Using physical force in sexual situations

• Controlling finances or refusing to share money

• Domestic violence may have a significant impact on children.  In addition to giving children the wrong idea that violence is acceptable--even between those they love and trust-- domestic violence may also cause children to feel fearful, anxious, have trouble sleeping, as well as other emotional and behavioral problems.

What You Can Do for Yourself

Talk to a trusted family member or friend about your experience.  Having a conversation with someone you trust can help you feel safe and supported.

If you are a victim of domestic and/or intimate partner violence, contact Safe From the Start or your local domestic violence agency for help.  Safe From the Start can assist you in locating a safe place to stay and put you in touch with service providers.  A domestic violence agency can help you plan for you and your child's safety and connect you with a range of services including individual and group activities and emotional support, medical and legal advice, safe shelter etc.