Suggestions for a Less Stressful Holiday

A poll in the Parenting magazine reveals that more than a quarter of the population views Christmas and Hanukka as stressful.  Parents of young children seem to be particularly susceptible to holiday related depression, says author Susan Lieberman in New Traditions, her guide for families planning holiday celebrations.

But parents are not the only ones who feel the pressure of the season.  Children also experience the results of the anticipation and confusion that go hand in hand with the frivolity and fun.

Here are some hints on what your child is experiencing an some suggestions for how to cope and reap the goodness of the holiday season.

• Remember that two year olds have no sense of time.  Anticipation is not possible.  Everything is here and now.
• Two year olds tire easily
• Rituals and routines are comforting.  Try to maintain the structure of bedtimes and mealtimes.
• Shopping is unpleasant under normal circumstances with a two year old.  Decorations and crowds only compound the problem.  Locate and arrange for child care when possible.

Three Year Olds:

• Sense of time is developing.  Three year olds can be included in preparations
• Be cautious of over stimulation
• Set clear limits during activities.  "You may use three pieces of paper, glue and glitter:  We are leaving in five minutes.  You can play one more game."
• Three year olds have their limits as do all of us.  Keep the structure of bedtime as best you can.

• Anticipation can be as much fun as the holiday itself.
• Seek out events geared to your child's age.
• Spread activities out.  Again, watch to avoid over tiredness
• Prepare yourself.  Four year olds want everything they see.  Your child is not unique in her demands

Five Year Olds:

• A five year old is ready to go with you on a holiday shopping trip and should enjoy the hustle and bustle to a degree without over stimulation
• Spend time on holiday projects in your home.
• Make gifts for family and friends
• A five year old will have a very long "wish" list -- be clear from the beginning he will not receive everything on it.
• Be aware that your five year old will over-exert himself if you don't help him pull in the reins.

• Mood swings are typical for six year olds in the best of times.  Expect these mood swings to become apparent during the holiday season.
• A six year old will be more competitive with games than in the past.
• This is not the time to expect good manners, or even mildly polite behavior.  Grin and bear it and explain to guests that this sis just a phase she is going through because truly it is!

For Parents

• Maintain consistency and sameness even in the midst of holiday activities, such as continuing bedtime routines.  Children need to be reassured that even though holidays bring exciting experiences, some things remain the same.
• Children enjoy being a part of the preparations for the holidays.  Simplify or shorten gift wrapping, decorating and baking so that they can help with theses activities.
• Take time to explain calmly the customs, traditions and r4easons why the holidays are being celebrated.
• Alternate quiet activities with active ones.  Parents should be sensitive to their children's needs:  change tempo when children indicate that they are reaching their limit of excitement or fatigue.
• Parents should keep in mid that young children are most comfortable win small groups.  Crowds of people, shopping and sightseeing experiences and be over stimulating

Providing a certain amount of excitement alternating with quiet times, routine and consistency, as well as close relationships with loving adults, involvement in preparations understanding of traditions,  should make holidays happy experiences for pre-schoolers and their parents.